The Conversion of the Professor

The professor read Plato; he dabbled in Barth
He cried upon Nietzsche and groaned over Sartre.

He studied the Forms and things-for-themselves
He took everything the library had on its shelves.

He thought about estrangement and despaired at dasein;
He marveled at the vanity of the good and the fine.

He listened to them argue how we know what we know;
He said, "I'm too stupid and my mind is too slow."

He tried to grasp Zeno, but it butchered his head;
"I am much too stupid, yes, much too stupid," he said.

"Where can I find wisdom? How can it be
that these men are so brilliant and cannot agree?"

He went home to his granddaughter, who was making plum goo
and asked her quite frankly, "What can I do?

"I—" he stopped himself in the middle of saying something dirty.
She got down her Bible and read to him from Proverbs chapter thirty.